I Wonder

We are rolling out in the morning.   Funny thing, although I am excited to get down there and see the new place again (as well as my kids and grandkids) I really just want to get home again so I can get back to getting ready for the next show.  We had such good rides the  last two time and I have been so busy getting ready to roll I haven't had time to go try again.

Sometimes I find myself wondering about Trax.  He was such a different horse the last 2 times I rode him, in the sense that he was trying so hard to please me, is it possible he felt as bad about our last show as I did?  I do not believe that horses feel remorse, so I seriously doubt that he sat there in the pasture and thought out how to prove to me that he was sorry.  But I do know that we lost our "connection" that day.  What I wonder is if he missed that feeling, like I did.  Did it make him kind of sad to not feel connected anymore? Did he try to please me more because he wants to feel the connection again?

Remember that Trax never really had a person till he had me. He was always aloof and a loner. When we started training and working a lot, our relationship changed so much. He was happy to see me. He puts his head in the halter, and approaches me at the gate.  In the pasture he comes and asks for scratches and loving.  This has become even more true since our fall out at the last show. It is as if he is trying to rebuild the connection again.

Is it possible that those last 2 rides were all about, "See Lady, I can do this, I just need a little more guidance." ?

Or maybe he is saying, "Please don't give up on me, like everyone else has."

Perhaps I am humanizing him a little too much.

"You still love me, right?"

I still love him, not in spite of who he is, but because of who he is.