Wednesday, November 13, 2013

A Brief Word on Alcoholism

We can lead them to the door of sobriety We can even agreee to walk through the door with them. But they have to be the ones to reach down, grab a hold of the knob and open the door. We cannot do it for them. If they choose not to, we have no choice but to walk away, leaving them standing at the door to wither and die. It is a hard reality. Yesterday I left someone I care about at that door. I hope she finds the strenght to open it before she kills herself. It is one of the hardest things I have ever done.

8 comments:

  1. I am sorry that you have been put in that position. I think I read in a previous post that you are in recovery yourself.Congrats! As a mental health professional, working with clients with addictions is one of the hardest things to do, for the same reasons that you wrote above. You cannot make a person do anything, you can only give them the tools and hope that they are able to use them. It is a lifelong process. I hope your friend does find the strength to work through it.

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  2. I'm so sorry. You are absolutely right, though, you can't do it for her. People have to want to change. I hope that someday your friend comes through to the other side and you are able to reunite.

    I know it's hard to just get up and walk away. I've done it myself, and it's agonizing. But, you have to protect yourself and your family. You did the right thing. ((Hugs))

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  3. Sometimes the hardest thing to do, is the right thing to do, but then if it were easy, everyone would be doing it. Hugs to you and your friend. I have been there myself a few times with different people. You can only DO so much and hope for so long without ending up in the same position they are in. Nobody ever said life was meant to be easy or fair. The best thing you can do for now is hang in there and wait for her to find her way thru that door. Prayers for you both that she makes it.

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  4. Yes people have to make their own choices and you can't change anyone. All you can do is choose how far you are willing to let them take you with them.

    Just one idea. A lot of alcoholics turn out to have Pyroluria. It runs on one side of my family and now I know about it I can see the trail of destruction and addiction it has caused down the line. Can be helped a lot with certain generic vitamin supplements so is not expensive. Maybe put some of this info her way and see if she picks it up. http://www.diagnose-me.com/symptoms-of/pyroluria.html

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  5. Hugs, My heart hurts for you to have this to go through with someone who you care about. We as a family lost a wonderful man, cousin father, husband ,friend. at the age of 42 to alcoholism. there are no words to describe the pain of that kind of senseless loss

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  6. Thank you everyone, your kind words help so much.

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  7. Just happened upon your blog and this post today! I've been clean, sober, happy 21 years just this Oct. I'll be praying for you both.

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  8. I would agree Cindy...there is nothing harder than having to walk away and leave them with their choices. But everyone has to decide what is right for themselves. I have a lot of years dealing with alcoholism in my husband. He has been clean and sober for 4-1/2 years now, and that's the longest ever. I hope and pray it continues, but it is up to him. Big hugs to you, and I'll be praying for you and your friend.

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