"My Lady Does Not Love Me Anymore"

 Nice ladies of the world, I am here to tell you that I am so sad.  I think my lady must hate me now.   First she made go and work at the arena in the middle of the day when I usually take my nap.  It was vurrry hot and I did not feel like working right then.  I wanted to be napping.  She worked me very hard too because she said I was not listening.  But I can tell you I was listening, she just wasn't making any sense today.

Then she brought me home and made me take...A BATH!  She sprayed me with freezing cold water and put this blue stuff from a bottle all over me and scrubbed me with a brush. 

I can tell you for sure that I HATES A BATH!  HATES IT!   HATES IT!   HATES IT!

She even tried to wash my most sensitive of areas. A place where no human female should go. It was so embarrassing!  She is not a boy, she does not have boy parts...she should not be messing with my boy parts. Especially with ice cold water!  My Lady does not love me any more. 

Yes she gave me candies, but it was just to distract me, I think.  I was very clear with her though, I told her loud and clear, that if she touched me there one more time with her freezing cold hands, that leg that was poised in the air was going to fly at her with a quickness, and I was not going to hold back. She must have understood, because she finally left that part of me alone. 

Then she wanted to wash my face.  I do not like having my face washed. I do not like water running down my face.

This is me putting my head up vurrrry high so that she may not wash my face.  Finally she just used a wet thing and rubbed my face.  I did not mind that quite so much so finally I put my head back down.

Then she got the cutting things out, and she spent forever cutting on my hairs.  She says my mane must be straight. 
I asked, "Why must my mane be straight? I like it just like it is. I look like a rock star."

She said, "Because you are going to be a show pony."

"A What?  I am not a show pony!  I am a ranch pony!"

She said, "Well we don't have a ranch, so now you are going to be a show pony."

I said, "I do not want to be a show pony, I want to be a great long distance race pony, like Hildago."

She told me I did not have a choice, so I quit talking to her.  It's like I said, my lady does not love me any more.

This is me after my bath.  Do I look like I am having a good time? 

I am not having a good time!

She worked on my mane for an hour. I hates it.  It looks like a hack job.  How am I supposed to get rid of flies with only half my mane? 

Then she went to work on my tail with that goopy stuff that smells funny.

 Yes it does look very nice, an boy howdy I am getting muscular back there, but I'll bet Hildago never had to have smelly stuff in his tail.

Then she brought out a box.  She told me she got me presents!  Yay! I love presents, especially the kind you eat.  But there was nothing to eat in the box. There was only stupid stuff in the box.  I did not like the box.

First she brought out my "show halter"  I don't understand why she thinks I need this. She should have spent her hard earned monies on candies. I do look quite dashing in it, but I am not a show pony, I do not need a show halter.

Then she made me put on a dress!!!  She said it will keep me clean the day before the show. I do not want to stay clean. Wait-a-minute....if this is to keep me clean the day before the show, that means I am going to have to have another bath!  I AM NOT A SHOW PONY! 

Although, I must admit, green is a very good color for me isn't it?  Oh wait...I mean I HATES GREEN DRESSES!


Luckily she did not make me keep the dress on.  She took it right back off again. Wheww!  I could not go back to the pasture wearing a dress.

BUT THEN....came the very worst of all.  I will never be able to hold my head up at the water trough again. 

SHE PUT FLOWERS ON MY TAIL!

My lady does not love me at all.  Remember all the times she said she loved me so much?  She did not mean it. She could not have meant it. I'm sure Hildago never had to wear flowers on his handsome butt.  (My butt is very handsome though, isn't it?)  If she loved me, there would not be flowers on my butt.

Then she sent me out in the pasture like that.  I am mad at her, so I did this.....

And this.....

And when I felt that I was sufficiently dirty again, I did this.....

and stayed far far away from her for the rest of the day.

I wish I lived with Hildago's person....I'll bet he loves his ponies, unlike my lady who hates me.