Friday, April 4, 2014

Mutant Invasion

I am always on the look out for mutants

Helloooo Nice Ladies and Men of the horse world.  Trax here today with some very important news for all horse lovers of the world.

If you are not sitting down right now, you probably should be, as this is very disturbing news.  At first I thought it was just my imagination, but now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are being invaded by mutants.

I have seen them here and there before, but was not sure of what I was seeing.  I saw one once at the big arena when we lived at the cold place.  I caught a glimpse of one, that one day as we went down the busy road, and I saw the same one again the last time we road in the desert, just a few days ago.

Even though I have seen them before, I never spoke of them because I do not like it when people call me the "C" word, and I knew that if I started spouting off about mutants in our midst, I'd be headed to the slaughter house, where true crazy horses go.  I assure you, I am not crazy. They are here and they have moved in....RIGHT.....NEXT....DOOR!

Today my lady and I were exercising in the arena...okay well I was exercising, she was sitting her fat (and growing fatter) lazy butt up on my back telling me what to do.   That was when I saw a commotion going on next door where the nice horses used to live.  I saw people there, and they had all kinds of little creatures running around.  They also had a horse trailer, and I could hear commotion going on inside.  Then they opened the door of the trailer and all the little mutants came running out!

Since I can no longer trust my lady to know when we are in danger, I took it upon myself to take us to a safe distance, but my lady seems to think that mutants are cute and we should be come friends with them.

I'm sure you have all heard the story of how she bumped her head on the tree when I was trying to save us from the log that was chasing us.  So not only is her judgement impaired due to head trauma....she never did have any clue what real danger looks like.

She insisted that I go to the fence and act like a gentleman, while the mutants were just one small pasture away from us. They were right there....making their mutant noises, which by the way, sound very much like sheep.  She has no clue if they have mutant germs, or mutant contagions.  What if I start growing horns out of my head from being so close.  Or even worse...what if I start to smell like them????  ARGH!  I swear if I start to smell like a mutant I will unlock my gate and run head on into traffic...or...or I will find a cliff and jump off it it, and I will take my crazy lady with me, and it will serve her right for forcing me to catch mutant germs.

Then of course, she had to go and be all friendly with the neighbor lady/ mutant hoarder.   I heard the lady yell out, "Nice Horse!"

(hoarder or not, she at least has great taste in horses)

And my lady answers, "Thank you!  He's afraid of your goats."

(Oh sure- make me out to be the strange one)

The other lady said, "Oh I'm sorry."

(No she isn't)

My lady says, "Oh don't be, it is good for him to get used to them."

(No it isn't)

The Mutant Hoarder then said, "Oh wait till he meets our Alpaca then!"

(Your What???)

And my lady then talked about how excited she is for me to meet this Alpaca thing.

(She is not right in her head)

I can only assume that an Alpaca is a mutant leader, who probably eats paint horses for lunch.


  1. That's a funny one. I can see it all in my head. Has Trax ever seen pigs? We used to have some down the road, and one day my old mare backed up 1/2 mile when she saw them.

  2. Ooooooh those horned tiny mutants... It's ok Trax, there's a fence between you so its all good. Those mutants are much smaller than you are though, so if you assert yourself with your size, that should be enough to ward them off. At least a few of them anyways.