Saturday, August 3, 2013

Trax - Herd Spokesman

Hello nice ladies of the world who have big hearts for their ponies.

I am here today to tell you that my lady does not love me, or my herd any more.  She has done terrible things to us, that we do not understand.

It all started after our wonderful ride at the horse show.  We did so good and she said she was so proud of me, but I am not sure that she really meant it because she stopped riding me!  I mean she didn't do anything but give me food and spray me with that stuff.  No grooming, no trailer rides no nothing.  Well that is not totally true. We took one trailer ride to the vet hospital where they poked me and stuck things in my butt (which made me want to kick them) and then loaded us all up and took us home.

Then she went away for several days. When she came back she still did not ride me, all she did was keep giving me food. Now don 't get me wrong, I like a vacation as much as the next horse, but I mean we finally had some really good weather, and she was home all day long, so how come we did not ride?

Then things went really crazy.  One morning her and the Nice man, and another nice lady put halters on me and the rest of my herd. They put Danny in the trailer and then me, then Sassy and Killian was last.  There was yummy cubes in little feeders for us, and lots of nice soft shavings on the floor. I thought maybe it was time to go to another show, although I thought that would be odd since we didn't practice at all, and usually my friends don't go to shows being that they don't have any skills like I do, but I thought maybe it was like a show for handicapped horses.

Anyway we traveled for most of the day, it seemed like we stopped a lot and thought maybe we could get out, but no. They just made us stand there in the trailer.  They gave us water to drink but they did not let us out to run and play or graze on yummy grasses.  So then I decided that there probably aren't many shows for handicapped horses and so maybe we had to drive really far to find one.

Danny the old man, was kind of nervous, but I talked to him once and a while and calmed him down.  As we were riding Sassy told us that she had been on a long trip like this once before too. I did not believe her at first, but then I noticed that every time we stopped she was the only one smart enough to drink lots of water. She was the only one of us that did not get thirsty on the long road.  She said that she came from a place called Tex Ass. But I have never been there so I don't know if it is real. She tells stories some times.

As the sun was going down we finally pulled into a place that I thought for sure was where the show for handicapped horses was, but I was wrong.  I mean there were all the things that you expect to see at a show...arena, grandstands, stalls and cages for smelly cows, but we were the only horses there.   Killian said that we must be early, and I thought that maybe he was right.

Then my lady put us all in little boxes. We couldn't see each other but we could talk and hear each other so we yelled back and forth alot. It made us feel better to hear each others voices.   The boxes were smelly and did not have any soft bedding like the trailer, but at least we cold move around.  Our lady gave us turns out in a big arena with soft sand and we took turns rolling and running around. That part was nice, and I was hoping she was going to let us stay in the arena for a long time, but she only let us stay for a little bit. Then she put us back in the boxes and gave us food and left us by ourselves all night. She also did something else really strange. She had all the canine's with us too and she put them all in a box too!  She always keeps the canine in the human barn with her, so I did not understand what was going on.  The other horses didn't either. We all wondered if maybe she had bumped her head again.

The next morning we all got turns in the arena again, and then back in the trailer we went.  There was no show for handicapped horses there either. Maybe my lady was lost?

We drove again for a long time, sometimes it was kind of hot, but never too bad, especially since the wind was blowing in the windows.  I thought that maybe we were headed home finally but nothing looked right.  We just kept driving and driving.  I was getting tired, and Danny was getting stiff.  Sassy whined and complained about her hooves the whole time, and Killian just kept eating.

Finally we stopped again and got to get out. It was another place for horse shows, but it looked like a place for poor horses who don't have really nice ladies to take care of them. There were some other horses there, but I think they lived there the all the time. They did not have nice big pastures like we have at home. I felt bad for those ponies and I told them so. They just ignored me though.

They put us in some big pens that had great big water troughs, we were so thirsty we all took big long drinks. Even Danny who can be kind of finicky.  We could all smell that there was a storm coming but we were so happy to be out of the trailer we didn't care. The air was nice and cool, and we rolled around in the dirt and looked for things to nibble on. There was lots of wood chips in these pens and Danny tried to eat them.

They gave us some food and then left us by ourselves for a while. I think they went to eat too.

Pretty soon the storm was right on us and there were big crazy clouds. Sassy was getting kind of crazy, she is weird like that when there is a storm.  My lady came racing back to the place with the truck and trailer and they ran to get us in the trailer. Just as they shut the door the rain started pouring down.  It was coming in the windows and in our faces, but we did not travel, we just sat in the trailer and waited for the storm to pass. Pretty soon it was gone and we started moving again.

There were lots of big trees and Danny said we were in a place called Or-we-gone, but I have never heard of such a place so I don't know if he was telling stories are not. You know how old geezers are, sometimes they don't remember so good.

The sun was gone and the road was windy and twisty and made me wish I could throw up.  Of course I only know what that is from watching the canines, who seem to do it a lot.  I cannot throw up, but that road made me wish I could.

Then all of a sudden the air changed. It went from being cool and brisk to being hot and thick.  I've never felt air so thick in my life. We went through a big city and then finally we stopped and got off the trailer. My lady put us in pens and gave us fresh water and food. We ate, but it was so hot and yucky, I was not enjoying being off the trailer.  I was hoping we wouldn't stay in this place for very long.

But we are still here.

Sassy says we are in Tex Ass, but my lady says we are in a place called Aree-zona. All I know is that it is not like our home and I am not sure I like it.  I live in a big pen with Danny and that is kind of nice because we can swish flies for each other. Sassy lives with Killian (of course).

We do have a pasture and it does have a little bit of grass but if it doesn't rain here soon, there won't be any left.  Big fat Killian goes out there and eats it all. Yes yes I eat some too, but that guy is a pig! We get to take turn eating the pasture grass.

So now you see, my lady brought us to this awful place where the air never gets cool, and there are these bugs called mosquitoes that like to bite us.  We don't have our barn anymore, and we have flies really bad. She sprays us with that stuff everyday, but it only helps for a little while.

I don't know what we did to deserve this terrible treatment. She said she loves me and will always take care of me, but I think she lied. She is torturing me.

Oh and THEN, she decided to ride me...while it was hot!   See....clearly she hates us.  I am a sad pony now and am looking for a new place to live. If any of you nice ladies would like to have a slightly crazy paint horse come and live at your house, I will gladly come as long as you have cool air at night and plenty of green grasses.  Please send directions as I cannot work a gps by myself.

Also, please let me know if it is okay to bring the rest of my herd.  I will feel bad if I have to leave my friends behind. We can sneak out in the night when she is sleeping.


  1. Awwww poor trax! I bet your woman still loves you, and I bet you will love your new home even more!

  2. Don't worry Trax. It will all pay off this winter when you don't have to deal with 50+ winds at zeeroo degrees.

  3. But i bet your mom is just glad that everybody got there in one piece! And Im sorry you had to move away from WY; have you asked her if you have been put into a federal whinniness protection program? Because that would be the only reason I could think of for moving to Arizona... ;)

    Congrats everyone on the new digs!

  4. Oh Trax a big strong handsome horse like can deal with anything. Give it a few more months and I'm sure you'll change your mind.

  5. Oh Trax ! you would be more than welcome here, but your lady would miss you so! Hang in there buddy it will get better

  6. Don't feel so bad Trax. My lady hooks me up to this funky contraption on wheels and makes me pull it around. I guess its not too bad since shes not sitting on my back.

    We used to go out and about through the neighborhood, but lately we have been stuck to making endless circles around and around and around out with the cows. sometimes we go past a red one and mom says to her Hi Betsy girl. She's as big as I am. Why doesn't mom strap Her to this thing? It could always be worse is what I'm saying.

    Oh and it may not rain often, but somehow the grass gets wet and grows anyways. Give it a few months. The heat and mosquitoes will both be gone. I bet your lady rides you a lot more then.

  7. Yep, you'll definitely be loving the winters down there - hopefully some rain will come soon - lol! What a great travelogue you provided :)

  8. Oh Trax you would be more than welcome here but you would miss your Lady and she would miss you terribly!!!! Winter will come soon and it will be wonderful, you will get lots of rides in I am sure